Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
