I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
