The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
