1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
