There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
