two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
