I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize