hell yes lets make some ravioli
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
