Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
