my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
honey bunches of taint.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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