yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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