Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
