Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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