I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
