He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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