I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
