she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
