At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize