I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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