Where are you?
In a non slutty way
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
