Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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