It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
