YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
