bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
