Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
