Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
