3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she looked like the before picture.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We left an ass print on the piano.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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