do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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