Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
