Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
