I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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