How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
