i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
