he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
