Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
