I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
