You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
