i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
