If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
