Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
