Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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