Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
