oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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