I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I touched a dick in church today
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
