Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
