I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
