Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
