i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
