Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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