Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
