i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
