I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think i have two assholes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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