Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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