Why are handjobs necessary in class?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
