was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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