That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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