Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
