Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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