if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize