Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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